A Wife's Secret To Happiness

by Jen Weaver

My husband and I are in this phase of marriage that we like to call, “We’re good & we know it”.  It’s not a place of boasting but more of a place that knows we will be okay no matter what.  We have been married long enough that we’ve walked through some really hard things together & we have still chosen to keep walking together.  Marriage is hard, sometimes downright stinky {like dirty socks}, but it is also full of joy & excitement.  The intimate things God intends us to share with our spouse get planted in the deep soil of our hearts, in a space no one else will ever share. 

Marriage has this sensuous mystery that surrounds it & yet the deeper we grow in our walk with God, the deeper we grow in our understanding of marriage & how it is created to function. 

So honestly, I wasn’t really thinking I needed to read a book on marriage.  But I heard this author Jen Weaver on a podcast & I kind of liked her.  Like you know when you meet someone & you think, ‘I could really be friends with this girl!’

So I got the book & I devoured it like it was chocolate.  The fresh take on “happiness” in marriage reminded me so much of how the Lord had saved my marriage from the edge of a cliff so many years ago.  Her transparent way of bringing readers into the deep places of her honest heart, draws you in & brings a realization of ‘yeah me too’.  {Mark 5:19}

I haven’t read a book on marriage in a really long time because well, we’ve been pretty good for so long.  But after reading this book, I realized I needed to exercise my marriage muscles.  I needed this refresher. 

Here are some things this book reminded me of:

Obedience breeds Contentment ~ God calls us to obedience in Him & when we follow His lead, looking to become more & more like Jesus, we are instinctually drawn to treating our husband with love, respect & kindness.  The other thing that happens in obedience is that we begin to understand the importance of trusting the leader.  When we let Jesus be our leader, we are built up together on the Chief Cornerstone.  {Ephesians 2:20-22}

Submission {Do NOT panic} brings Safety ~ I am naturally not a submissive person!  I initially want to bristle at anyone or anything that wants me to submit.  But the Lord in His gracious love has softened me.  I have realized over the years that my submission to HIM, brings my safety & because HE has designed my marriage to mirror Christ’s love for the church, when I submit to the authority my husband has in our home, I am safe.  I feel a weight lifted from my heart of trying to prove my worth as a woman & the man who loves me affirms me.  It’s almost counterintuitive but it works because God’s ways are higher than our ways {Isaiah 55:8-9}

ATTACK your Situation not your Spouse ~ Jen gives a great way to handle conflict in chapter 9.  ATTACK stands for acknowledge, tell, talk, ask, commend & kiss.  It is really a fantastic way to handle every situation with your spouse, especially if you are struggling with communication in your marriage.    Over the years, the Lord has shown me various ways my spouse needs me to communicate with him.  He needs my ATTACK to be against Satan, not against him.  When I am cautious to make sure my emotions are placed in the right area, we grow closer.  {Psalm 37:8

Are there areas where you need the Lord to move in your marriage?  Submit yourself to Christ & see the fruit of His crop in your life.

Want to read this book?  Get it Here


Love, Cara