Dear Single Mama

I want to share a piece of my heart with you today.  Recently I found out that 2 different women, who are very dear to me, have been treated poorly by Christians and/or the church in general.  The mistreatment had to do with judgment surrounding their divorce & the fact that they were now single mothers.  At first, I was just appalled & angry that anyone, especially those proclaiming to walk as Christ, could be so hurtful & hateful, but then I was just overwhelmingly sad.  Not just for my friends who were hurt, but for all single moms who have been wounded this way.  Because if I know 2, there must be thousands more out there that I don’t know.  

In fact, my own mom was once a single mother.  If you know me or have read my blog long enough, then you know my daddy was a pastor but before he was my daddy on earth, it was just me & my mom.  She worked hard, loved me hard & struggled well to give me everything I needed.  She taught me how to walk uprightly, how to have a servant's heart & most of all she taught me Jesus.  She showed me how to live as the righteous daughter of the King that I am & to believe that my Heavenly Father gave me an identity.  

I can’t change what others have said or done but I have a voice that can stand up against judgment, hatred & boastful pride.  I can stand as an ambassador for Christ’s love {2 Corinthians 5:11-21} to tell single moms that He loves them.  So that's what I want to do in the letter below.  

If you are a single mom, or if you know a single mom, then please read this & pass on the Love...


Dear Single Mama,
I want to apologize to you.  I’m sorry that your circumstances are hard.  Being a single mom is hard.  I’m sorry if anyone, Christian or not, has ever made you feel humiliated because of your situation.  Whether it was a condemning look, word or action, it was wrong.  We have been a loud noise with no love. {1 Corinthians 13:1

Condemning words have communicated animosity instead of love.  I’m sorry you received harshness instead of grace.  

My hope is that you would see this apology from me as the face of Jesus because He wants you to know that He loves you & He is proud of you.  He wants to be intimately near you.  He knows everything about you & your circumstances & He loves you infinitely.  He created your inmost being & knows the hairs on your head, {Psalm 139:13-14, Luke 12:7} all because He loves you. 

Jesus has declared that you are righteous & holy. {Hebrews 10:10}

So I am sorry for all the ways you’ve been shunned.  I’m sorry for the nights you sit lonely because all of your couple friends went out or the times the moms at school didn't include you in their plans.  I’m sorry for the long days of work & the hours of taking care of children on your own.  I’m sorry for the way people act like singleness is bad.  I’m sorry that in the name of Jesus, people have behaved like your enemy instead of your friend.

I’m sorry you’ve sat alone in church.  I’m sorry that you don’t feel like all the other women.  You are just like all of them & we are just like you.  The married ones, never married ones & widowed ones ~ we all just want to be loved & accepted. 

We are all the same, people in need of the grace & righteousness of Christ to come in & save us from ourselves & the harsh world around us.

You are loved  

You are loved by God the Father.  He is not mad at you or disappointed in you.  No matter what anyone has said, God looks at you & sees His daughter & He loves you.

He loves your child{ren}.  He has great plans for them & He is using you as an instrument of His love in their lives.  He is using you to impact small people that will grow & change the world & the kingdom.  Believe it.  Walk it.  Do not ever give up on His great love.

Whether you are divorced or single through other circumstances, you chose to love your child{ren} sacrificially.  You chose to stay with your child{ren}.  You chose life over death.  You chose the harder road to do the right thing.  

Jesus is big enough to handle your difficult days.  He is big enough to turn your hard into beautiful.  Never doubt that God Almighty loves you & that He sees you.  He wants to be your shelter & your defense.  He wants you to just breathe His name so He can run to you & give you strength to make it through whatever circumstance you are in.

Keep on doing the right thing & seek Jesus with all your heart.  Be passionate about Him so you can live in the abundance of all He wants for you.  Jesus loves you & so do I.  Take up the shield of faith & keep moving forward. {Ephesians 6:10-18}


So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline.  Be even tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.  Forgive as quickly & completely as the Master forgave you.  And regardless of what else you put on, wear love.  It’s you basic, all purpose garment.  Never be without it.  {Colossians 3:12-14

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. {1 Corinthians 13:4-7}

You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart. {1 Peter 1:22}


Love,
Cara


 
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