My Worst Mom Mistake Ever

This weekend a friend said to me, “I feel like I’m constantly dropping the ball on motherhood lately.”  To which I replied, “it’s ok, my ball hasn’t had any air in it for 6 months!”

Though it seems funny & she did almost spit her whole drink on me in laughter, we as mothers definitely carry a burden to keep it all together & running smoothly & to do it with a smile on our perfectly made-up faces.

This morning I admitted to my own mother the depth of where I feel like I have failed my kids. It’s not the accidental times when I messed up; it's the times when I intentionally didn't choose to take the harder road of living a life of grace that looked like Jesus.

All mothers, including myself, sacrifice so much for their kids but sometimes we just want to have a small pity party & speak or act right out of our flesh which never turns out as well as we think it might at the moment in which we do it.

Seasons of feeling like I’ve “dropped the ball” can leave me wondering if I’m even a good mom at all.   When I get worn out & weary, my focus seems to turn inward.  When my circumstances get rough & I am struggling to keep it all together I can begin to believe that my mothering is all that matters in God’s plan for my children’s lives.

There is a level of responsibility, that is unmatched by any other relationship when you become a mother.  Being a mom is a difficult job.  It comes with risk. It comes with a high calling to work sacrificially for our children, but what it does not come with is any requirement from God that we are in charge of how our children's lives actually turn out.  

The way my kid's lives go is the job of the Holy Spirit.

I am a mom who seeks God daily for her children, but sometimes my words to them don’t show it. I am a mom, who prays for their future, but sometimes I say things that deflate their hopes.  I am a mom who desperately desires that her children walk like Christ, but sometimes I don’t model that.  I am a mom whose desire for her kids to give, serve & love others is often extinguished by my own selfish actions.

But the good news is that there is an even deeper truth than my desires for my children.  That is the truth of God’s redemption & grace.  Romans 8:28, tells us that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him & follow Him.  That means His redemption happens even if circumstances are less than ideal and my mom actions aren’t always perfect.  His grace can flood in & remake situations into beauty. {beauty from ashes} 

So what is my worst mom mistake?

It’s believing that God has called me to more than dropping the ball.  In fact, maybe “dropping the ball” is exactly where God needs me to be in order to desperately depend more on Him.  If I kept the “ball” going all on my own, I might believe my kids are fine because I had it all together.  What if my own mistakes & failures keep me seeking His face for myself & my children?   And what if my mistakes show my children how desperately we all need Jesus in every area of our lives?

The place where I drop the ball is the place where God wants to meet me & show me how He will hand it back to me.  How he will help me grow.  He shows me how in my desire to follow Him & grow in Him, He will actually grow my children.

I mess up, but God never does.  I need my kids to know this truth.

So let’s remember that our job as a mother rests in the shadow of the Almighty’s job for our children’s lives.

Children are God’s love gift, they are heaven’s generous reward
Psalm 127:3 {TPT}